I always look at a full moon as a moment to cleanse, to center myself, and to remember who I am and where I stand in this life that I have.
It is also a moment when I speak to my ancestors, especially my mother and my father now that they have transitioned. I speak to them every day, but something about the full moon makes me feel their connection on a whole other spiritual level.
This Full Moon was in Aries, with energy centered around the relationship between me and we. Who are we within our relationships? Where have we compromised ourselves? What do we actually want? And where are we being called to choose ourselves again?
I think a lot of us are sitting somewhere inside of those questions right now.
I know I sure am.
Change is something I have been uncomfortably sitting in for quite some time. For so many years, especially with my business, I felt comfortable. I had passed the ten-year mark and convinced myself that I had reached the part where everything would be okay.
And then life changed.
Over the last three years, so much of what once made me feel secure in my career has shifted. Somewhere along the way, I had to accept that even when we think we are in control, we truly aren't.
But I can also say that I am becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortability.
More present.
More aware of what I actually want in this life.
This full moon brought a lot of that to the surface for me.
I cried.
I cried because I miss my mommy.
My mother was the person I could call when I needed an answer. Somehow, she always seemed to have one. And there are still moments when I just want to pick up the phone, ask her what I should do next, and hear her tell me, It's going to be okay.
But I am realizing more than ever that she gave me so many of those answers while she was here.
Sometimes I just have to get quiet enough to remember them.
I speak to her, and somehow, she still answers.
Underneath all of those emotions was another realization: so much of the life I used to live simply doesn't serve me anymore.
There are new dreams now.
New goals.
New hopes for what I want my life to feel like.
And with that excitement comes fear.
It reminds me of being 23, standing on the edge of starting my business. I didn't know what was going to happen then either.
But one thing I did know was that I trusted myself.
I trusted myself enough to take the leap.
And maybe that is the part of myself I am being asked to remember now.
Life, grief, loss, and simply getting older have made me understand time differently. I know I still have so much of it, but it feels more precious to me now.
Maybe this full moon isn't asking me to become that 23-year-old version of myself again.
Maybe it is asking me to remember how deeply she trusted herself.
And collectively, maybe that is something we can all sit with.
Where have you lost pieces of yourself?
What are you holding onto simply because it is familiar?
What do you actually want now?
Full moons illuminate things. Sometimes beautifully. Sometimes uncomfortably. And this one feels like an invitation to be honest about what we see.
Maybe the relationship this full moon is asking us to look at isn't only the one we have with other people.
Maybe it's the relationship we have with ourselves.
Do I trust myself? Do I listen to myself? Do I honor what I need? Am I making space for the person I am becoming?
So if you are standing at a crossroads, changing, releasing, or simply trying to figure out what comes next, give yourself grace.
Trust that the path will become clearer.
Trust the universe if that brings you peace.
But more than anything, trust yourself.
And I say that to you because under this full moon, I am saying it to myself too.
xo zelie
